The First Touch: What’s Really Happening

During our post-massage feedback chat, a frequent client (whom I affectionately call a Massage Mate in my writing) asked me, “What is that thing you do when you lay your hands on me at the start of the massage?”

I don’t know about you, but when someone notices a small, nuanced moment during a massage, and asks about it, I feel a particular kind of delight - the kind that says we are about to have a real conversation.

What Massage Mate felt then got curious about is our commencement. Our beginning. Our introduction. The place where the work begins; where we take an almost imperceptible moment to acknowledge that we are about to embark on a journey together. In massage, we call these ‘still holds’; a moment of intentional, motionless contact that signals: we’re beginning.

Still holds were one of the very first ‘moves’ we learned in massage school. The most basic description of a still hold is using light pressure, the therapist places their open palms on the client, then stays anchored for a breath or two. This lets the client identify the weight of the therapist’s hands, then the warmth, then gentle invitation to let go of all they carry.

I recall the anxious anticipation every single student in my class felt (including myself!) as we prepared to put our hands on another human, knowing this moment marked the initiation to our careers as massage therapists. Who could have guessed that such a simple touch carried such weight? Or that it could feel so quietly profound?

The subtext to the question Massage Mate was asking was probably, “Why are you keeping your hands on my body without moving?” To this I say, “For so, so many reasons.”

✨ I am assessing the patterns of your inhalation & exhalation; and noticing your tempo, your rib expansion, movements in secondary breathing muscles, whether all the parts are moving in sync or if there are choppy rhythms playing out.

✨ I am feeling for subtle shifts happening under my hands before any real ‘work’ has begun.

✨ I am reinforcing your sense of safety with me by giving you time to register & connect with my touch instead of immediately pulling back the draping.

✨ I am welcoming you into the mindset of being cared for under my guidance.

✨ I am silently repeating your intention, affirmation, or word and letting that swirl in the space we share.

✨ I am taking a moment to bring my own focus to YOU, reciting my own intentions for serving your goals, and expressing my own gratitude for you in allowing me to tend to your aches & pains.

The introduction is what calls you to settle into the story your body is holding. I can’t help but to think of the overture in musical pieces that whisper the themes that will appear over the course of the show. Still holds offer something similar when used to open a massage.

All the greatest works start at the beginning. Including your massage.