Yesterday, I was the client.

On my walk down the street to my massage appointment, I felt heavy thinking about a difficult conversation that was still lingering from earlier in the day. As I thought about what I wanted for my time on the table, I kept going back to the conversation that morning, and the lack of resolution I was left with. My intention felt impossible: to sit in the space of discomfort and dissonance, where two opposing truths are real and valid.

All the challenges I am facing swirled like one massive hurricane in my brain as I thumped my tush into a chair for the pre-session chat. I told my long time massage therapist the top bullet points that felt relevant because I was definitely emotionally raw. Thankfully she really GETS me, and knows when to prioritize my parasympathetic nervous system over all else during a treatment based on how & what I communicate during the intake.

I also made sure to point out a couple of physical niggles that I wanted addressed: a somewhat mild ache in my hips from standing in a long line for four hours (while sending condolences to the family of a loved one who had recently passed), as well as a slight pinching in my left shoulder when I placed my hand behind my back. My body holds regular life stresses in predictable areas, and my LMT angel knows those spots well.

She asked me follow-up questions when I finished talking. Did I want deep, sharp work or long, flowing strokes? Was it the front of my left shoulder or the back? What do I want to listen to during the massage?

Now, normally, I arrive with a music request, which she always gleefully plays - no matter how outlandish it may seem for a massage. OhYes, we have played Yacht Rock, Ray Charles, Pentatonix, and ABBA’s Greatest Hits. This time, however, I felt like that was one decision too many. There were already calming sounds in the room with some ocean waves in the background and lullaby-like piano music. We went with that.

Sometimes I ask for her to use a specific technique in a targeted area of my body. What was more important for me for THIS massage was the metaphor for what I wanted to feel. So, I told my massage therapist that I wanted to be triaged for the wounds, burns, and brokenness I was feeling.

I was tended and mended.

I was stitched and bandaged.

I was sedated and calmed

I was cradled and rocked.

My broken parts were reset.

My burns were salved.

All of this occurred in my mind and heart. Let me be clear about that.

But now let me tell you what my therapist actually did because of the way we worked together with the “script” I brought to the table:

My LMT wrapped me with the blankets.

Calmed me with a heated & weighted pack on my belly.

Released tension with cross fiber friction on muscles with hypertonicity.

Deeply compressed my glutes and hamstrings using a barefoot style approach with more grip than glide.

Focused on my head with lots of scalp and face massage.

Gently moved my arms and legs with Passive ROM.

Ended each area with a feather-like touch.

And so much more.

Can you see how I got so much more out of my massage with the specific yet creative requests I made? This massage most certainly did not solve the challenges I mentioned at the start of this writing. It did, however, give me a richly embodied experience that I can return to as many times as I need to until my next session. It’s the work you do for yourself that changes, elevates, and magnifies the entire experience.

Let me help you learn to do the same because YOU are the expert on your body